New Year, Same Dreams

January 11, 2019

Now that the New Year has begun, I am finally excited to see what 2019 has in store for me. To be honest, I have been kind of dreading all of the changes that the New Year may bring; I know that change = growth, and growth is not only necessary but also good.

The issue is growth is scary.  In 2019, I will complete my Specialist degree, apply to a doctoral program, and attempt my third round of IVF (all while working a full-time job and raising a high school senior). Each of these ambitions are very costly and extremely challenging. I also feel guilty that my own selfish dreams take away time, money, and resources from my family.

I am kicking off 2019 with IVF, and it is one of my resolutions to chronicle the entire process in real time by blogging every raw moment of our Hail Mary attempt to have a precious baby.

Everyone is so kind to compliment me and tell me how strong I am to be able to handle my infertility challenges, but most of my friends and family only see the pre-IVF and post-IVF side of me who relatively has it together; the mid-IVF Krystal is incredibly stressed, anxious, and emotional (which can’t solely be blamed on all of the hormones).

To be honest, I am not as optimistic as everyone thinks. I am 28 years old and have undergone two IVF cycles that have not been successful, and none of my doctors know why. My biggest fear is that this cycle will end just like the others (without a successful pregnancy and with no embryos to freeze). My fears are exhausting. I am trying to remain positive, but it is hard to stomach that the $23, 983 that it will cost for treatment for this cycle (+$6,000 in medications + $3,000 for travel) could be spent in vain.

Despite my endless woes, God never fails to show up and show out. I am witnessing the miracle of pregnancy and new life all around me. I believe that God is showing me to have faith and trust Him more now than ever.

Regardless of what the outcome of this cycle will be, I am just thankful that we have the opportunity to try again. God has opened up all of the doors to point us in the direction of Dr. Schoolcraft, and I know that if this is going to work, CCRM is our best shot.

My IVF calendar began on January 3rd. I have been eating healthy, working out, and I have not had coffee in over three months. Isaac & I are still taking the slew of supplements that are preparing us for this cycle. Tomorrow will be Cycle Day 10, and I will begin testing my urine every morning to capture my luteinizing hormone (LH) surge.  I will begin the priming phase of the cycle by taking Estrace (Estrodial) 2 mg two days after I have ovulated, and I will continue this dosage until Day 2 of my next cycle. Then, I will have an ultrasound/labs on Cycle Day 3 to determine if I will start the stimming meds on Cycle Day 4.

I ask for prayers as we continue this journey!

All of my best,

KA

 

 

Prepping for IVF Round 3

When I moved back home to Mississippi in November 2017, I was very concerned how that would impact our infertility treatment. I was very saddened to have to discontinue treatment at Arkansas Fertility and Gynecology since we had established such a deep connection with everyone in Dr. Batres’s office over the last three years. So, when Isaac’s Aunt Laura called me one night in January 2018 to tell me how she felt God had laid it on her heart to tell me about “Dr. KK”, I began to feel more at ease.

Aunt Laura raved about her experience with her new ob/gyn, Dr. Kara Brantley. Aunt Laura explained to me that during her visit at the doctor’s office,  Dr. KK described her own fertility struggles to her, and she felt that she needed to share it with me. I knew that I had to make an appointment with an ob/gyn before I could be referred to a new reproductive endocrinologist (RE), so I contacted Dr. KK’s office and met with her a month later.

During my exam, I explained my fertility journey to Dr. KK. She listened intently and quickly suggested that I go see Dr. William Schoolcraft. I was super excited that Dr. KK provided me a referral so quickly, but I was completely surprised to learn that Dr. Schoolcraft’s clinic is located in Denver, Colorado.

Dr. KK explained that she had gone to see Dr.  Schoolcraft when she and her husband were trying to conceive their two precious boys. Since then, she has sent 26 of her patients to him, and 25 of them have had babies. These are incredible odds! As impressive as these odds may be, the first red flag that popped in my head was the amount of money it would cost to fly out to Colorado and complete a 6-8 week IVF cycle.

Dr. KK informed me that I would only have to go to Colorado for one day for my initial workup and about ten days for the stimulation cycle/egg retrieval. Then, I would fly back out there again a cycle later for the embryo transfer since Dr. Schoolcraft only does frozen embryo transfers instead of fresh ones. She said that she would do all of the other blood work and ultrasounds at her office. This opportunity sounded enticing, but I was also skeptical.

After talking to Isaac and doing my research, we decided to contact Dr. Schoolcraft at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM) in Lone Tree, CO and schedule our phone consultation with him.

We had our phone consultation with Dr. Schoolcraft in May. The purpose of this consult was for him to learn about our fertility journey. We discussed the diagnosis, my treatments, and my cycles. He was extremely surprised that we have not been able to have a baby based on my medical records. He encouraged us to come to CO to have a workup done at his clinic, so we made an appointment to fly out there in August.

For me, this is where the intense anxiety set in. Based on the research I have done about Dr. Schoolcraft, he is like the Dr. House of infertility. There are eleven CCRM locations, and he founded all of them (the first one in Colorado). He primarily deals with challenging infertility cases, and it was difficult to realize that mine qualified as one of them. So, we booked our flight, hotel, and rental car. Then, we traveled to Denver.

When we arrived at CCRM, we were directed to a conference room for our orientation session. There were four other couples in there for their one day workup, as well. Two of the couples traveled from another country, one traveled from Philadelphia, PA, and the other traveled from Chicago, IL. We were the youngest couple by far by at least 10 years. The orientation was very informative and cleared up almost every logistical question I had regarding how the protocols and procedures would operate with me living in another state during treatment. Then, we were dismissed, and the long day of blood work, ultrasounds, tests, and scans commenced.

After meeting with our IVF nurse (Erin), the genetics specialist, and the finance team, we finished up the day with a face-to-face meeting with Dr. Schoolcraft. He looked over my results from the day and looked very surprised. He told us that before we came out there, he was sure that he was going to tell us that we should consider an egg donor. However, “on paper” there is no reason why I should not be able to have a baby, so he wanted to try. I was astounded! There was honestly a part of me deep down that thought our journey would be over after this visit, but I was wrong.

We did some sight-seeing, climbed Mt Evans in the snow (in August), and came home. Isaac & I had to go see Dr. KK on day 2 of my next cycle to get more blood work and ship it to CO. Those results were perfect, so Dr. Schoolcraft called to let me know that he had written my protocol and sent it to Erin. So, I contacted Erin about our prospective cycle start date.

I am scheduled to begin my stimulation medications (the thrilling hormonal overload) in February 2019. In the mean time, Isaac & I both have been prescribed a vitamin supplement cocktail for the next three months. I have also been accepted into a clinical study trial at CCRM for a new Acai fruit supplement called OvaHealth that has shown to increase egg quality.

Many people ask me if I am excited about our third round of IVF. This is a very difficult question to answer. I am blessed for the opportunity to be under the care of a medical pioneer like Dr. Schoolcraft and to try to have a baby again. However, I am extremely nervous and anxious. It is going to cost us twice as much for this one cycle than it did for one cycle in Arkansas. Many people say, “Oh, money is just money. You can always make more.” That is true, but having to take out a $30,000 loan is going to affect our family no matter how you look at it.

I know I should not be anxious because it is all in God’s hands. He has blessed Isaac & me with really good jobs and insurance. We have recently learned that our medical insurance has a lifetime max of $7,500 for infertility treatment (like IVF) and another $7,500 lifetime max for infertility drugs. This in itself proves that God is providing a way for us to attempt another cycle.

I also believe that God has placed me at my job for this very reason. Three of my co-workers have undergone IVF, so I have a new support system that is very dear to me. Holly, in particular, listened to me cry even when she barely knew me. Her encouragement and kindness is so inspiring!

So, here we are prepping our bodies for our third IVF cycle. We have so many pills to take that I had to purchase large pill organizers! Please pray for us and our family as we continue this journey.

Much love,

KA

Meds

reputation Tour- New Orleans

I just left Taylor’s reputation show, and I am in shock and star-struck. It was the best show I have ever seen her perform! Taylor always puts on the best show, but I’m so amazed at all of the hard work and preparation went into making this tour such a success. And, seeing her up so close for the first time was undeniably a dream come true!

Taylor, you are incredible inside and out! Thank you for doing what you do. You have an amazing talent as a singer/songwriter/performer. I’m so impressed with how you are always so humble and so grateful for fans like me who have all 100+ of your songs playing on shuffle in the car almost every day. I am even more thankful for you! You are such a blessing in my life. I cried through the entire “Long Live/New Year’s Day” performance. It was beautiful! I will hold on to these memories forevermore.

P.S. If you’re not a Taylor Swift fan, you should be.

Taylor Swift’s 10 Most Underrated Songs

By Krystal Adcock

September 17, 2018

In honor of going to see the Reputation Stadium Tour this weekend in New Orleans with my sister and daughter, I have dubbed this week Taylor Swift Week” because it is considered a holiday in my family. This will be the fourth time I have seen Taylor perform live, and I still get more excited than a girl spinning in a brand new dress on New Year’s Eve to see her in concert.

Taylor has been performing throw-backs from her previous albums on this tour, and I have been reading article after article trying to figure out which ones she will perform at her New Orleans show. It would be impossible for me to narrow down a top 10 list of my all-time favorite songs of hers (although “All Too Well” is a definite front-runner); I tried once, and it made my head hurt worse than my college trigonometry class. Of course, every song is a hit in my opinion. I used to get up early on Sundays just to record “Tim McGraw” on the weekend countdown on the radio until I bought her first album. The only song of hers that I can’t listen to on a regular basis is “Ronan” because it may actually be the saddest song I have ever heard.

I am secretly hoping that TS will highlight at least one of the 10 Most Underrated Songs  (pre-reputation) in my opinion.

1. “All Too Well” –Red: It’s not a secret that “All Too Well” is a definite fan-favorite. This is song proves that Taylor is one of the best lyricists of all time. Every time I hear this song, I can feel the raw and honest emotion she pours into the song like it’s the first time I have ever heard it. It is brilliantly written! I really wish would have appeared on the radio, but I will settle for getting to hear it live in person.

“Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again, but i’m still trying to find it.”

2. “Forever & Always” (Piano Version) –Fearless: The original version of this song puts me in my feelings every time I listen to it, but the piano version makes my heart hurt even worse. “Forever & Always” is the epitome of what it is like to be dumped by your first love. It’s confusing, painful, and unforgettable.

“Cause I was there when you said forever & always.”

3. “Last Kiss” –Speak Now: “Last Kiss” exposes the real emotion immediately after a terrible breakup, especially one you never saw coming. These lyrics are haunting. At 4:26, you can hear Taylor’s voice tremble. The pain in her voice is heartbreaking and real. It gets me every time. You can’t make up that emotion.

“And I hope the sun shines, and it’s a beautiful day; and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind.”

4. “Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)” –Taylor Swift: This song is special to me because it chronicles a lifetime of being in love. It’s so sweet and so good!

“Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle. Our whole town came and our mamas cried. You said, “I do,” and I did too.”

5. “Never Grow Up” –Speak Now: “Never Grow Up” is a song that sits somewhere between a lullaby and an anthem for me. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult. It’s great being able to eat popcorn, cereal, or ice cream (or all three) for dinner if I want to, but adulthood is not all that it’s cracked up to be. Pay attention to this one, kids. I wish I could have stayed little just a while longer. My nieces love Taylor, and this is the latest song that I am teaching them.

“To you everything’s funny. You got nothing to regret. I’d give all I have, honey, If you could stay like that.”

6. “State of Grace” –RedMany people were surprised when Taylor switched over to pop on her 1989 album, but I wasn’t. I have recognized elements of the pop genre on all of her albums, but “State of Grace” solidified it for me. This is the first song on Red, and it foreshadows what goodness is yet to come in Taylor’s career. The lyrics of this song are perfect, and I have a rock concert in my car every time it comes on! I didn’t get to see the Red tour live, so this is a song I would love to experience in person.

“And I never saw you coming, and I’ll never be the same.”

7. “The Best Day” –Fearless: “The Best Day” is such an incredible tribute to Taylor’s mother. This song is one of my all-time favorites, because it reminds me so much of  my late grandmother who raised me and my sisters. She worked daily to try to give us a normal childhood and be a mother to us. She passed away last October, and this song kept popping in my head as I was writing a speech for her funeral. It was only right for me to include these special lyrics. This song is everything!

“I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home.”

8. “This Love” –1989: I just love 1989. After this album came out, I was really concerned that I would never like another album of hers more than this one. “This Love” is not a song that I hear much about (critically or otherwise), but it is one of my favorites. I’d love to hear it live again.

“This love left a permanent mark. This love is glowing in the dark, oh.”

9. “Untouchable” –Fearless: The lyrics and melodies in this song are, in fact,  untouchable. It is beautifully written and one of my favorite tracks.

“Untouchable burning brighter than the sun.”

10. “You Are In Love” –1989“You Are In Love” is a bonus track on the deluxe version of 1989. I wish this song would have been out in 2010, because it would have been my wedding song, for sure. It perfectly describes how true love is supposed to be. It’s perfect.

“You can hear it in the silence, silence. You can feel it on the way home, way home. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.”

Taylor Swift catches a lot of crap for simply being who she is and writing songs that reflect her own experiences. It must take so much courage for her to lay her personal emotions out there for the world to see, and I admire her for that. The way she carries herself and cares about people inspires me to do the same.

Regardless of what the set-list is going to be Saturday night, I have been looking forward to this show for a very long time! I saved up for months to be able to purchase VIP tickets. Even though I will be sitting by myself in Pit C, I’m ready for it!

My Thoughts This Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day has always been a difficult day for me. When I was a kid, I was envious of all of my friends who had a traditional mother to celebrate. As a young adult, Mother’s Day became even more painful as I watched all of my friends celebrate motherhood when infertility convinced me that I wasn’t worthy enough to do the same. This year, Mother’s Day is incredibly bittersweet, but I am overwhelmed with with joy and thankfulness.

I am celebrating Mother’s Day for the first time without the woman who raised me. I prayerfully began asking God to ease this grief, so I could enjoy the blessings of Mother’s Day. Amazingly, I awoke this morning with an overwhelming peace.

Although Nanny is in heaven, I know she is always with me. Her presence is more than a memory; I see her in the things I do and the things I say. Her greatest dream was to see me become a mother, and I’m so happy she was able to spend time with Hayley before God called her Home.

On this Mother’s Day, I am more thankful for all of the great examples of mothers in my life than ever before. There are many mother figures who have personally influenced me and shaped me into the woman I am today. I know God placed each of them in my life for a very special purpose. These women are so dear to me and will always hold a special place in my heart. I am surrounded by strong women who unconditionally love their families, and I strive daily to be as selfless as each of them.

Motherhood is a blessing that I often feel I don’t deserve. God has placed an immense amount of responsibility on me to raise a teenager, but I know that He has given me the best tools and strongest support system to lead a Godly example for our daughter.

Being a mother is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs that I have ever been blessed with, and I never want to take my greatest responsibility for granted.

Thankfully, God has placed many examples of dedicated and faithful mothers in my life. There are so many days that my heart aches because I want to call Nanny and tell her something about Hayley or ask her for advice. But, even though I can’t do that, I know I am surrounded by a strong support system.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers who made me want to be a mother. Thank you for your love, dedication, and sacrifice. Thank you for investing your time and loving me even though you didn’t have to. I pray that I am able to bless my daughter’s life as much as you have all blessed mine.

To: My Last Class of Senior Babies—Love, KA

Dear Hampton High School Class of 2018,

Happy Graduation! I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. I have missed you every day since I left the classroom to pursue my dreams in the post-secondary education sector.

As an experienced secondary educator, I have conditioned myself to be able to handle the complex emotions that no professor warned me about during my undergraduate studies. If every excitement, stress, frustration, success, and failure was precisely described and accurately documented in the classroom arena, our country would not just be looking at a teacher shortage, but ultimately a teacher extinction.

For me, this broad-spectrum of emotions is always exemplified when I get a new group of 12th graders, and it was not any different with your class. Every August, I begin to mentally prepare myself for May, so I can emotionally process the sadness and excitement of another graduation. I had no idea that my traditional adjustment period would be cut short because of the need for me to move back home to Mississippi.

You will never understand how hard it was for me to leave you during the middle of the school year. It honestly felt like I was abandoning you because I thought no one could come in and love you all the way that I could. I also knew there was still so much wisdom that I wanted to pass on before you left to pursue your own dreams.

I am not sure if I have been as helpful and inspirational as Mr. Feeny (Boy Meets World) or Mrs. Townsend (my high school English teacher) like I dreamed of in college; all I do know is you have been the group of students I always dreamed of teaching.

Each of you have the potential to truly do great things in this world. I hope that you will always put others before yourselves, and you work harder than you are required to.

Always know that I pushed you to go above and beyond because I was encouraged to do the same. Overachievers are often criticized, but I am firm believer that hard work truly does pay off in the end.

I hope that you apply your hard-earned knowledge towards a successful career, whether you decide to go to college or not.

I pray that you wholeheartedly give all of the love, dedication, and sacrifice necessary to take care of your family. You were so understanding when I left to take care of mine, and I am forever grateful. I will never forget the kindness you all showed when my grandmother passed away. Thank you for all of the support you gave me when I decided to move home. I have never once doubted that y’all are on my team. I will always appreciate your maturity, empathy, and encouragement.

I know y’all don’t miss my lectures, but the main lessons that I want you to take with you into the real world have nothing to do with my English class. Regardless of how much I “bled” on your papers when I graded them, you will not know how to “adult” until you experience the world on your own.

I could sit here and waste your time by penning a fantastic misrepresentation about how “the world is your oyster” and some “Carpe Diem” hoopla, but y’all know I’m a realist, and I’d never lie to you like your parents did about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Here’s the run down: life is hard, love is harder, and people suck. The beauty of it all is that every trial, every success, every tear, every smile happens for a reason, and you are here for an even bigger purpose than any of us can fathom. You may not know your place in this world just yet, but I promise you will one day.

Look, I couldn’t wait to grow up, go to college, and have a family. I can proudly boast that I have accomplished those dreams, but not without struggles and heartbreaks. There have been countless times that I have wanted to give up, but I am so grateful that I didn’t. You will struggle, but you will succeed.

Tonight, I will watch my last group of seniors wall across the gym floor to mark a major academic mile-stone, and I couldn’t be prouder! Just know that whether I am asked to be a coach or forced to be a spectator, I will always be your biggest fan.

Each of you have blessed my life more than you will ever know. I hope that you will never forget how special you really are.

Class of 2018, …Are you ready for it?

All of my love,

KA

About Me

 

I am a working wife and mother trying to successfully navigate through the beautiful challenges of life while remembering to celebrate the undeserved blessings I have received from the Lord.

The goal of The Kystie Show is to chronicle my thoughts, opinions, and ideas about topics such as life, faith, relationships, parenting, recipes, education, entertainment, grief, adoption, and infertility.

My struggles with infertility are what initially inspired me to start blogging. https.thekystieshow.com reflects my bold effort to discuss the “hard stuff” about life. It also highlights the beauty I see in life every day.  My hope is that others will see the magnificence of God’s love for us through my life and testimony.

I reside in my hometown of Mize, Mississippi with my high school sweetheart (Isaac), our 17-year-old daughter (Hayley), and our three dogs (Millie, Meeka, & Morgan).

“Be strong, be brave, be fearless. You are never alone” (Joshua 1:9).

-KA

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

The goal of The Kystie Show is to highlight topics such as life, faith, relationships, parenting, recipes, education, entertainment, grief, adoption, and infertility.

I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts, opinions, and ideas with you!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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